Oops I did it again

I’m not going to promise that’s the only Britney Spears reference I’ll ever make, but don’t imagine this becoming a regular thing.

Anyway, lately my life has rather been exploding in a weird and painful but ultimately really good and healthy way, in no small part because I’m a human and humans have a habit of doing silly things that get them into more trouble than was necessary (hence the title of this post) and in no lesser part because that’s just kind of the stage of life I’m in being a young person who is trying to figure out life and find a new job. I’ll spare some details as I’m still a bit in the thick of it and because I don’t want this post to be a zillion miles long, but the basic story is: girl does lots of things, girl starts feeling anxious about all of the things as they start to fall apart a little, girl continues to try to win against anxiety by sheer force of will, girl’s anxiety gets way out of hand, everything crumbles and falls apart, girl feels terrible for several days but then starts learning a lot of things, learning lots of things makes girl feel better, tentatively excited and even happy about everything falling apart because of what it’s revealing and life lessons abound.

So, things I’m learning (or re-learning. I don’t always learn things all the way through the first time.)

  1. I am not God. This is as it should be. Thank goodness I am not.
  2. I should not expect to know what is going to happen to me every day.
  3. The fact I don’t know what is going to happen to me every day is okay.
  4. It’s rather absurd to think you know what’s going to happen every day.
  5. Taking things minute by minute and day by day can be exceedingly difficult if you are impatient.
  6. You learn patience by going through things that take time, minute by minute and day by day. This is especially true when they are difficult things to do.
  7. Before beginning any large endeavor it is perhaps best to consider if it’s an endeavor you are a good candidate for in the first place. It is also particularly wise to check with God before you assume it is for you, because sometimes it is not and sometimes the way you see things is not the way they actually are.
  8. People are not projects. It is exceedingly prideful to think that you need to be the person to help people change or even to assume they want your help. That is not why we are placed in people’s lives.
  9. Sometimes it’s good to step back from things–even things you enjoy–for a time.
  10. Sometimes stepping back from things–especially things you enjoy–will make people sad, including but not limited to, yourself. But if they love you, they will understand. If they do not, that’s rather another matter.
  11. It’s hard to admit you were wrong, but grace allows us the understanding that we often will be and leads to the humility that stifles the pride that says that we never should be.
  12. For as much as I think I know things, I really know pretty much none of the things.
  13. It’s pretty okay that I don’t know a lot of things, because there are a lot of things to know and even if I lived to be 3,045 that would still be the case.
  14. I really, REALLY like Johnny Cash.
  15. God uses really weird things to show us things about ourselves sometimes.
  16. I really like C.S. Lewis.
  17. Worship, reading the Bible and surrounding yourself with people who love you and want to seek out God with you is pretty much never a bad plan when you’re freaking out.
  18. God loves blowing my mind.
  19. I still have a long ways to go.

Anyway, hopefully this list helps you a little bit or fills you in about where I am right now in some sense. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe the list will change. I’m sure a lot of the things I am learning still need to be balanced out with other things, but that’s a balance I will continually be trying to strike because that’s sort of how life works. And that’s okay. And so am I.

P.S.

20. My dad can TOTALLY shred it up on guitar. I never knew the full extent of this until yesterday and I am incredibly proud to call him my own.

One thought on “Oops I did it again

  1. Kim November 25, 2013 / 5:47 am

    Thanks for the update! I feel as you do on many of the above points, I like Johnny Cash too, and your dad did an amazing job!

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