Hey y’all. Welcome back.
It has been a whirlwind summer.
I can’t believe how quickly it is flying by or how strange of a summer it’s been.
On the one hand, I feel like I have taken several steps closer to who God really wants me to be and what He wants me to do. I feel more confident in my purpose, have grown in my trust in Him (particularly in that He’s not going to let me go), and in general feel like I’ve found a sharper focus in my life and priorities than I’ve ever had before.
On the other hand, I have often felt like I was running or hiding from God without knowing why, felt disconnected, and been positively steeped in comparison, petulance, and envy (no really, it’s been really bad. Sorry, anyone who’s had nice things happen to them this summer).
Like I said, it’s been a ride.
But what all of this has really pointed out to me is what I now see has always been my missing piece: a full understanding of just how much Jesus loves me.
Now, I’m not saying I’ll ever fully understand that in this life. Nobody ever does, but as I’ve been looking at my life, examining, comparing (whoops), and meditating, it’s been growing more and more clear to me just how much I’m missing in that area. And if I don’t have that, well, nothing else I do really matters.
I think of 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3.
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
I’ve always thought these verses were about intentions, like if I’m doing great things without the right motives, emotions, thoughts, etc. behind them, then the good I’m doing doesn’t actually really “count,” or isn’t as good as it could be.
And no doubt, that is at least somewhat true (though likely at least a little skewed). I think God does care more about our hearts than our actions, and intentions are important.
But, I think there’s another lesson here too.
Because I don’t think the love mentioned above is just my own, the love I can/do generate /have towards others.
No, I think it’s also referring to God’s love, the love He has for me.
God is the source and example of what love is. God is love (1 John 4:8). So if I’m not interacting with Him, not learning through personal experience with Him what love is and looks like, how can I possibly love others?
So many times I’m afraid to go to God, to accept His love and see what it really is. I hide in performance, in activity, busyness, anything to prove that I’m alright. I fear if I open up, I’ll be rejected, that when I need love and comfort, all I’ll get is rebuke.
But let me tell you, that is an irrational, foolish lie from hell, and I promise you that that is not true. All the times when I’ve truly let God in, He has never spurned, ignored, wounded or rejected me. If you’re afraid that’s what’s going to happen to you, I promise that it won’t. God loves you, deeply, wildly, and nothing you could ever do or have done could change that by the tiniest sliver of anything ever at all.
Which is why, moving forward, I want to walk more in that love, to open up more and more to this experience, to learn what God’s love really is for me.
I want to find that missing piece. To lose my fear and gain freedom, to know truly what it is to walk with Him.
Because if I don’t have it, if I’m not walking in it, everything else is just for show. A clanging cymbol, a noisy gong. Without love, all is nothing.
His love I have.
Now I just have to walk in it.
So, how about you? Have you ever hidden in these things before? Ever had a surprising experience letting God in? Tell me in the comments below, and if you want more content like this don’t forget to subscribe or follow in the sidebar links. Thanks!