I know it’s been a while, but with some travel and other activities, my schedule got away from me. In any case, I wanted to catch you all up on something I’ve been thinking about for a while.
It came to me while listening to a song called Daily Bread by the artist Strahan.
Now, I’ve loved this song for a while, focusing mostly on its attention to needing God daily and potential/power of restoration, but this time, I noticed something different.
Something I’ve been ruminating on for a while now is why it’s so hard to surrender things to God. I know God is good, I know He loves me, but when it comes down to brass tacks, surrendering my work, my time, and everything else is just hard.
That’s when this line came on: “Take everything that I have / Let it be multiplied as it’s broken in your hands.”
Because the fact is, what I have to give, ultimately, is very little. A few stories, kindness, lending a hand. In the grand scheme of all the world’s problems, what I have to offer is minuscule, almost nothing.
But if I give it to God, let him take it, break it, and give it away, it can become so much more, just like the loaves and fish that Jesus multiplied to feed thousands (Matthew 14:13-21, 15: 29-39).
Which brings me back to my first point: if I know God is good, if I know He can multiply, and if I know that that multiplication can more than meet the needs of the people I want to reach, why is it so hard for me to surrender and give him what I have?
The answer, of course, is that I’m afraid of losing. I’m afraid that if I give Him what I have, I will lose something that matters to me, and because I still have so much to learn about Him and His goodness, I’m afraid even more that I won’t get it back.
Except, when I know God is so amazing and good, what would I even be losing? If, for example, I know God is the ultimate author, and I’ve already learned that giving Him my writing will ultimately only make my writing better and more satisfying, what is it that I am so afraid of letting go?
Well, nothing good. Because when I really think about it, the only things I’m really afraid of giving up are things I don’t even want: pride, ownership, control, glory. I’m afraid of losing the ability to say “I did this,” to get the credit, to have control over my own life. I’m afraid of losing the ability to say I know better, or to argue about what I think is right.
Now, of course, on the surface, I’ll admit that I still do want all of those things. In fact, I’ll admit I want them very much, more than I think I even like to admit.
But that’s also exactly what makes them such a poison.
Because God is good, His plans are for my good, and what He can do with whatever I let Him have could only be for good. And to withhold all of those things, the gifts and talents I have that could freely help others, just to have my own control, my own shadow of glory, is nothing short of a tragedy, especially when I recognize the irony that letting go is what would bring my own truest and deepest satisfaction in the first place.
So, what can I do about it?
Well, that’s something I’ve been wrestling with ever since I had this realization, and that was almost a month ago, maybe more.
Because the fact is, as long as I’m living here on Earth in this present age, it’s not going to be easy. Some of my favorite verses of all time, ones which I think most clearly and succinctly sum up the Christian’s condition on Earth are Romans 7:15-19.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.Romans 7:15-19, NIV, emphasis mine
What I love about these verses is how clear they make the problem. Because I still wrestle with the flesh. I still fight the battle to give up my greedy sinful nature to embrace God’s, and because I still have that fleshly nature, it’s something I going to keep struggling with as long as I’m here.
But I also see hope, laid out neatly a few verses later in Romans 7: 24-25.
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!Romans 7:24-25, NIV
Which brings us neatly back to our featured song.
“You are my daily, you are my daily, you are my daily bread.”
God, someday I want to get to the point where I can truly say that everything I have has been surrendered. Please walk closely with me, as is your good pleasure, and help me find the way.
Please, Jesus, I need you to be my daily bread.
So, how about you? What makes you afraid to surrender things? What strategies have you found to overcome those fears? Are there any verses or songs that have helped you on this journey? Let me know in the comments below, and if you want more content like this, please subscribe or follow me on social media at the links below.