This is the last post of the year, and though I’ve had a lot of topics on my mind lately, I’m not really in a place where I can talk about most of them yet, those things requiring deeper, more focused thought than the holidays can afford, which is not really such a bad thing. Suffice to say, it’s been a good year.
It’s been a big year too, and I’ve learned a lot. I’ve made some of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make (leaving my studio, some other news that’s yet to come, etc.), made some important changes in some of my most important relationships, grown as a writer (both in the sense of my craft and the more social aspects), grown as a friend and an aunt and sibling and perhaps, most importantly, as a child of God. Almost all of the relationships I have have grown deeper, healthier and stronger and I am so thankful for all of them. It feels good to be alive and though this has definitely been a different, harder holiday season than most, I can’t say I’ve been unhappy, either.
Thanks for sticking with me all this time, everyone. I hope this is the best year yet for each and every one of you. Keep on keeping on.
Somebody asked me about a year ago what they thought my legacy would be if I died today.
My answer, perhaps particularly telling, was essentially that, had I lived longer, I really could have done something or in essence, a legacy of truncated potential. I suppose this is a work and/or worldly oriented way to look at things, what with so many of the things I want to do with my life as yet unaccomplished, but as I’ve been ruminating on the word and thinking on some recent experiences I’ve had, I think that my understanding of legacy has been changing.
First, in that as I get older and start thinking about the things I want to pass on to my nephew or perhaps even one day kids of my own, I’ve been noticing more of the things that those around me have passed down to me. I think most pointedly of my love for Peanuts from my mother, my growing appreciation of trains from my father (stay off the tracks, folks), and the thoughts I have of a grandfather I never met that come when I hear somebody whistling, especially at Christmas. These are all things that, given my own doings, I’m not entirely sure I would have loved as much as I do. Peanuts perhaps (who doesn’t love Peanuts?), trains, maybe not. But now, with the memories and traditions I have from my parents, I see them in a kinder light. I think of them fondly and often, and am reminded of my love for those people when those passions come into play.
I guess this ultimately isn’t a very specific post, certainly not as directed as most of them usually are. There is no theme here, no moral, no point. I think it’s just a post about remembering and thinking, and that, I think, is enough. Remember your family, make the memories and traditions and enjoy them as time goes by.
Merry Christmas everybody. I love you guys.